My first project in the tech industry was to create a sales system. It did not seem complex at first. It was a bunch of tables that had customers, companies, deals, and activities. The idea was to help the reps keep track of their deals and customer activities more efficiently. Basically it was a CRM or customer relationship management system.
As someone with little real world experience building apps, I thought how hard could it be? I started talking to the sales reps and they wanted everything and have it all be automated. They imagined the software could read their minds and guess what they wanted. It was software as magic.
In fairness, all the requests from sales seemed quite reasonable. What did I know, I did not even know what a database was just one month prior. I could barely program and thought SQL was as foreign a language as Russian. So when asked for an estimate, I said two months.
From the outsider’s perspective, everything looks easy. I can’t tell you the number of times people got mad at Stack Overflow over some slight and threatened to create a competing site. After all, it was just software, a few tables and a user interface. Well after hundreds of different Q&A and forum sites built over the years, no one succeeded at dethroning Stack Overflow.
I dove in with the level of enthusiasm that could only come from someone that was completely out of their depth. I spent a week just trying to get my developer environment setup. The next week, I was neck deep in manuals, documentation, and reference books covering everything from Solaris, Sybase, SQL, app security, and our own developer tools. There were days and weeks I never saw the sun.
The first live demo three months later was an epic disaster. I could not login initially. Then the app crashed when I ran the first search. The UX was cumbersome. The VP of Sales cut in at the ten minute mark and laid down an ultimatum. Get it working in one month or else.
Already sleep deprived and deflated, I trashed the code and started over. Things were way easier the second time around. There were still long days, often going 16 hours or more during the most intense moments. The app was not ready in one month’s time, but the progress was enough to get an extension. Six months to the day I was hired, the app was released to a very happy sales team and VP of sales.
I have no regrets about the experience. Going through what felt like hell back then was one of the moments that got me to where I am today. Without that overwhelming challenge, I would not have learned as much as I did and advance my skills and confidence to take bigger risks and push myself farther. Experiencing the grind was essential.
I share this because a few weeks ago I read a tweet thread from a former Microsoft engineer sharing his own experience with the grind. He had been on the team that built Internet Explorer 3, the product that finally made Microsoft relevant in the Internet age and kicked off the browser wars with Netscape. It was an interesting look into engineering culture and the type of effort that is sometimes required when the stakes are so high.
However quickly went awry. In the middle of this thread, the author shared an odd confession:
“Sadly, there were divorces and broken families and bad things that came out of that...”
Immediately the Twittersphere went into attack mode. They called it a toxic culture, a den of spoiled tech bros, an inexcusable affront to worker rights, and so on. It was a cringe worthy statement that he later backtracked. Honestly, any job that leads one to get divorced or that normalizes 2 AM foosball contests in the office is a wretched culture.
What most of the Twitter commenters missed though was the author and other engineers voluntarily joined the team. A spot on the IE3 team was a coveted opportunity that they opted into. As the author shared later in the thread:
“Most Microsoft engineers made $1M+ then, regardless of team. But thousands wanted to join the IE3 team just to do their best work...”
The engineers were not only well compensated, they also sought opportunities to learn and grow and build something extraordinary. They signed up to the grind.
There needs to be a space in this conversation about work culture that is not either promoting hustle porn or accusing every company of fostering a toxic workplace. We should be able to talk about how hard work matters as a means of our own fulfillment and advancement. This is not to glorify the grind, but to recognize those opportunities in our professional lives when the goal was worthwhile, learning was accelerated, and the results led to impact.
On the other hand, the grind is not sustainable forever. I have seen plenty of exhaustion, burnout, and depression. At least companies are starting to recognize the importance of rest and mental wellness. Sites like Glassdoor and Blind as well as social media are exposing the worst offenders. Then the generational shift with Millennials and Gen Z are pushing back on the workplace grind as they prioritize work-life balance.
This is why culture matters. Some cultures are pathological, where people lead through fear, manipulation, and competition. These are sick systems. Then there are other cultures that are generative where collaboration, openness, and supportive. People have true agency to do their best work and thrive.
We should all ask ourselves if the work we are doing is worth the grind. Is there adequate recognition and compensation? Does the work generate value for us long-term? When I evaluate work, I assess them from three perspectives: culture and agency, value of the work, and the balance of risk. The calculus of these factors gives me a lens on what to expect.
Under that lens, the optics of the Microsoft story are not attractive. However, it is also just one person's view. You can be certain that opinions from that team will vary. And that is the point, everyone's calculus is different.
But the one thing that should never be negotiable is culture. The hellscape of bad culture sucks you into the vortex of neverending crises, manipulation & exhaustion. Your life, health, and well-being should never be a bargaining chip. You only have one life to lead, so spend that time in places that value and respect you.
There will be times of high stress. The all hands on deck types of situations that arise from time to time. The work is intense, exhausting, and overwhelming. In generative cultures, the work eases & people are rewarded. These are high risk and high reward situations that could lead to failure, but could also open up incredible opportunities. These are Crucible Moments and can come whether you are in a big corporate or startup.
One important note to the grind is that while many people have a choice to stay or go, not everyone is so fortunate. In tech, we assume the freedom of movement, but that is also a privilege not granted to all workers. This includes workers on foreign visas, those just entering the workforce, those in underrepresented groups, anyone with high debt, those that lack access to affordable health insurance, live in places with non-competes, etc.
If you have friends, family, or colleagues in an awful job situation, lend a hand. Guide them to other opportunities and help them network into better situations. No one should have to suffer through a soul crushing work environment, dealing with harassment, emotional abuse, or worse.
For me, I consider myself one of the fortunate ones. The tough times, mistakes, and blow-ups shaped me in ways that opened up new opportunities, accelerated my career growth, led to professional success, and gave me a healthy perspective on what I want out of life. Sure, not all of it was positive, but I learned something about myself every time I experienced the grind.
When have you experienced those crucible moments in your career? How did those shape you for the good or bad? I would really appreciate your stories and perspectives on this topic!
Mark Birch, Editor & Founder of DEVBIZOPS
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